I AM SELFISH

I wasn’t going to write this post because I thought it was too selfish. However, I’ve been trying to expand my vocabulary recently so I looked up the word.

(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

…the NBA Finals are currently on and although my team isn’t playing, I’m still watching.

I love basketball. I’ve been in tune with this game, this sport since the age of three. Thinking back, my main reason for working in the year 2000 was to pay for my Philadelphia 76ers season tickets. Not knowing it at the time, it was my best money ever spent. I went to 40+ home games that season. I saw Reggie Miller shoot from beyond the arc, cheered on as a fan sat in the row behind me screaming “Reggie, your wife doesn’t love you anymore!” the great, late Kobe Bryant in the Finals series loss to the Lakers. Presentation ceremonies of the player/coach awards. I got to see Allen Iverson and Vince Carter match up in a Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals! Oh, come on! If you’re a fan you remember that final shot over Tyrone Hill. The one where every fan gasped, every heart stopped! I cried. I cried like a baby when we won the Eastern Conference Championship. I was in section 217A ROW 5 SEAT 6. That’s a core memory. It’s all so surreal to think that was my life as a civilian, BEFORE THE CORPS.

Fast forward time.  It’s been 19 years out of the Corps and  it’s taken about 10 of those to see a little bit of light back into civilization. The Corps discharged me but I was very much still commited. Both mentally & physically. Trying to balance life physically out while being mentally in, is a game no one can train for. Point is I had ZERO idea that former Sixers head coach Larry Brown won a championship with the Detroit Pistons in 2004!!! I learned that last night! That’s how far removed from the world I was. I know some of you are saying “that was your choice” it was my choice to serve yes. The how and why I have suffered so deeply was not.

We as humans are naturally drawn to other humans and in a world of social media I’m drawn to a human who has a similar love of the game of baseball as I do basketball. I bring this up because I feel she is a silent supporter of mine. Regardless, she deserves to be recognized. She inspired me to write this post. I survived death a couple times over so I often wonder about death itself. Some of my classmates even thought I had died. (which I still have questions about) How would people remember me? Would they remember me as Sixers fan? As a Marine?

What I’m getting at is, I want this person to know that I see your love of the game. The love for your son. Your child. I see your hard work as a single Mom. I simply see you. I’ve always been a silent supporter of yours, but now I’m saying it out loud. We ALL need an ally. Heck, I know that I do. My wife and I do.

So, to touch back on selfish. If this is the definition of selfish, then I AM SELFISH.